Sahaja Yoga Forces People to DivorceFrom the TASY forum:From: Giahn [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org] Sent: Friday, December 19, 2003 7:39 PM To: email@example.com Subject: [talk-about-sy] One person's devastating experience > of marriage in Sahaja Yoga
From the old archives:
JD: Regarding my third marriage (BTW, you can imagine how weird it's been to try to explain my life to non-sys! I have generally kept quiet about it, although I finally did tell my parents that these had all been arranged marriages and divorces - they were quite horrified), no particular reason was given for the divorce, only that "it wasn't working out." What on earth that meant, I do not know.
Normally, if something isn't working, you try to fix it. At least you are given a chance to fix it. It was certainly nothing between me and my husband except that perhaps we were a little too happy with each other (we were very, very happy indeed). We had both been through a lot of heartbreak, and it was wonderful to finally find some solace and real companionship. Of course, it was a strange situation in that my husband, whom I loved with all my heart, had been divorced from his first wife, whom Mataji called a "witch" and other choice names (bhoot, etc.).
I do not believe that she deserved the treatment she was given. So my happiness was built on a foundation of the pain of another person... Not good. Not right.
I have also speculated that for some reason that I do not understand, Mataji planned to divorce us all along. The reason I think this is that when she asked me if I would like to marry G., she said that it had to be on the condition that I agree not to have any children with him. Because he already had 3 children, I did not hesitate to agree. But in retrospect, I wonder what the heck that was all about.
When we were married in India, she really blasted my husband. It was quite devastating to us both. I thought he would take over as "leader," a position I never felt very comfortable in. But that was not to be. I also thought we would have the children with us, but that also only happened intermittently, and most of our contact with them was on the occasion of international pujas.
She also said I should work (so I started a picture framing business at home). I found it very difficult to balance everything. She scolded me for paying too much attention to the children, who were brought over at the same time as US programs and puja. She scolded me for paying too much attention to my husband.
These are the only things I can think of that I was doing wrong - except that I was getting more and more stressed out, anxious, nervous, depressed, fearful, defensive. And I feel that I was indeed not a good "leader." Somebody complained to her about me - I don't know who or what about (maybe Craig or Patrick have some idea), but I'm sure it was justified.
Several months later she told my husband during the India tour that he should divorce me. I don't know whether she gave him any more reasons. Perhaps she did and he just wanted to spare me. He came back and told me, and we cried and cried. I just thought it was one more test, but it was too cruel. What he didn't tell me until later was that she had also told him to remarry his first wife. And indeed I don't think I could have taken it (and I might not have agreed to the divorce, either).
When I found out that he actually had remarried her, I really fell apart. As I've said before, it was devastating beyond anything I had ever experienced. But it was also the beginning of my road to healing. I grieved as I never have before. I finally got in touch with all the emotions that I had been repressing. And I vowed that no one would ever jerk me around like that again.
The first person I was married to was an Indian young man, who was a little strange. Mataji proposed it, and I agreed, although I had serious misgivings at the time (actually, a physical sinking reaction in my chest - I just felt sick). but I took it to be a test of my "surrender," and so agreed. His family, I discovered, planned to go back to India, and had very little to do with SY. They were pretty strange too. I became terrified of ending up lost forever somewhere in India.
After a few weeks, seeing how desperate I was, Mataji told me it was ok to get a divorce. I do not think they wanted anything more to do with SY after that - I think their reason for coming in the first place was probably to find a wife for their son.
The second person I was married to is, as far as I know, still in SY. Patrick or Craig might know more recent news of him that I do :-) It was not a happy marriage, and I blame myself for allowing it to happen in the first place. After all, it takes 2 to tango.
No question is too personal because it could have happened to any one of us - and other, equally traumatic things have happened to many, as you know. I think it's important to be able to speak about these things openly.
I have personal knowledge of this story. It is true and involved the leadership of Sahaja Yoga in the United States. The woman, Christine, left Sahaja Yoga. Gregoire is still a leader in the cult. The "old archives" refers to another yahoo discussion group that was unethically taken over by Sahaja Yogis in an act of what one writer called cyber terrorism and shut down because negative discussions about the cult started showing up in the search engines.